Elizabeth Smart

Okay, for those of my friends who are not familiar with the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping, here is some basic info.

She was kidnapped the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college. I weirdly remember everything about it. I remember months later finding out that she was found. It was right before I went to a Poly Sci lecture and I was strangely emotional. Now, why I was so interested in this, I can't say. But for some reason, I cared. A lot.

Well, the whole case has been back in the news a lot lately, with the competency hearings going on for Wanda and Brian (the kidnappers). And, I have had thoughts....

1 - Elizabeth, you are amazing. I admire and respect your hard journey. I can't imagine what she went through, nor would I even want to. But, I am amazed at your ability to handle and move on.

2 - Wanda's hearing - A few weeks ago, after a night shift, I was driving home and listening to the radio. I think it was NPR, covering local news. They played sound clips of Ed Smart (Elizabeth's dad) and his reaction to Wanda's competency hearing. In Wanda's statement she asked forgiveness form the Smart family. Ed responded "We all make mistakes in life," he said. "If we can't forgive each other, heaven help us." I strangely was suddenly emotional. How could you ever find it to forgive someone who had taken part in these horrible acts to someone you love so much? Truly - heaven help us. Only through a power greater than one we could ever muster this type of forgiveness. Heaven help us, beautiful point Ed.

3 - Brian David Mitchell - I don't know where to start or really what to say. Sad. Here is a link to info on his competency hearing. Okay, so. I feel like "feelings" are a weird thing. They are something that we can't really control, yet which play a huge role in determining our decisions. I mean, of course I am able to make my own decisions, regardless of what my feelings are. But, at the same time, I can't control how life events or things I do make me "feel". And, honestly, this really does influence my choices. In any case, this tangent has a point. I can't help but wonder if Brian David Mitchell really is crazy. I mean, what if he hates himself so much for what he is done that he has literally made himself crazy in order to avoid feeling the consequences of what he has done. In any case, he makes me sad. Sad to be so messed up and twisted. If he really is mentally ill enough to not understand what he has done and to not "feel" bad about it, I believe that one day he will. And that will be a tragic day.